I'm Not "That" Blogger, So Who Am I?

Time and time again, I find myself facing the same old feeling of insignificance, of feeling so different that you're irrelevant. That feeling that no matter what you do, what you wear or what you say, you'll just never be "that" blogger. And time and time again, I find myself asking the same questions "Do I need to change myself in order to "make" it as a blogger? Do I need to mould, twist, turn and shape myself into this "#goals" worthy, blogging babe, who makes wearing baseball caps look sexy? No, frankly speaking, I shouldn't. But once more, time and time again, I find myself in a mind-bending frenzy filled with these questions about my blogging ability, creativity and my general sense of self. It makes me wonder, and in wondering, I enter the unforgiving world of the overthinker.

There's no denying that there is definitely a gradient curve on the types of people that are blogging full time. Now, I definitely don't mean that in a judgemental way, I mean it more, in a perceptive way. And I have perceived that there are definitely certain trends that correlate amongst the "BIGGER" bloggers.

#Goals #Bloggerbabe #Bae These are just some of the words some of us bloggers and social media folk will come across in the up and coming era of the blogging, social media and internet stardom. But when I see these words I constantly wonder if I could ever be anyone's #EverythingGoals or whether I could ever get as overly-hyped for avocado and poached eggs as other people do. I mean heck, I love avocados and toast as much as the next person, but I just never feel the need to Instagram or tweet a photo of it. Do you get what I mean?

And then I start to think: Am I doing it wrong? Am I not being a proper blogger, when I decide against Instagramming the meal I had last night, mainly because it's usually something quick like spaghetti hoops on toast. And in reality, that's not really Instagram worthy is it? But do you get my drift? I feel like, because I don't have an interest for these things, I'm doing blogging all wrong and I'll never be as successful as the bloggers that do actually like and do all of these things.

I've always felt different. I don't know why, but I just have. I constantly wonder where I fit, in this big, bad,  largely populated world. I wonder, whether I will ever be perceived as "pretty" enough to be picked for the next big beauty campaign or "#ontrend" enough to be picked for the next big fashion brand shoot. It makes me wonder, whether I'll ever be enough for anything?

I don't know, perhaps these thoughts are stemming from my insecurity woes. Perhaps, there are just too many people having avocado on toast, for at least one person not to Instagram it, and perhaps none of it even matters. Perhaps I need to forget about these so called "influencers" and start influencing my own self-esteem. I need to celebrate, the little, weird and quirky things that make me little Heather Chambers from Sheffield. I need to start to appreciate the fact that I'm writing a novel, and while I can't exactly Instagram the words I'm typing on my computer screen (which are #cute btw), it's still an immense achievement and one that I should be proud of.

You see, I'm already "That" blogger.  I'm that Blogger Heather, a one of a kind, limited edition, that should not feel the need to live up to certain interests and expectations just to climb higher. Because in doing so, you may lose yourself along the way.  But then in saying this, it brings me right back round to the insecurity woes again, and I end up asking myself: Will I ever be enough?

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post, as always thank you so much for reading, I really do appreciate it!

These photos are outtakes from the post "I Like to Dress like a Man...So What?" and I thought instead of them going to waste, why not feature them in this post! 

Photos by Sabz - The Girl In The City

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