The 5 Stages of Crushing...HARD

Monday, 5 September 2016


Crushes. We all have them. Some more than others. Some crushes can turn into big, fat bundles of love. Some can end in tears. Some fail to start at all. For me, it's usually a 'Some fail to start at all' type of crush. The thing is, when I crush, I crush hard and it can be really hard to deal with it, especially when the feelings are just not reciprocated. I'm currently attempting to get over a 7 month long crush, which I have come to finally realise, was NOT reciprocated. In doing so, I got to thinking about the many stages of crushing that happen, mostly when the person doesn't like you back, and thus came up with these 5 stages. Enjoy!

1. The Cheshire Cat Phase - Everything that makes you smile:

Let's face it, we all grin and smile as widely and as stupidly as the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland when we first start to develop feelings for a crush. He looks your way. You smile. He calls your name. You giggle girlishly. He mutters some cute, boyish joke, that is not even remotely funny in any shape or form - but you laugh out loud anyway, because the sound of his voice alone, is enough to send your happy brain into overdrive. You laugh, you grin and you smile at every encounter you have, because you've got all of these new happy feelings inside and you just can't help but channel your best bud - the cheshire cat!


2. The Drugged Phase - Experiencing the highs:

So after all of that smiling, comes the highs. The highs of seeing him in that new, sexy blue shirt. The highs of smelling his sweet, pine scent first thing in the morning. The highs of the hope that this could actually be the start of something completely new and absolutely wonderful. You feel joyful, you feel hopeful and you feel wonderful. You are now drugged and high as a kite. It has never felt better, you just keep hoping against all hopes that there isn't a comedown.

3. The Addiction Phase- Getting that daily fix of the guy:

So this is where the drugged phase, can start to get a little bit messy and a little bit unhealthy. The addiction phase, starts when you begin to spend all of your time, thinking, talking  and borderline obsessing over him. You begin to create visions and fantasies of the life the two of you will lead when you get married in the big church, have the two kids and buy the perfect cottage by the beach. In this stage, you start to narrow every single, minute action he makes, down to, "He likes me" even if the actions are the most non-suggestive on the planet. You are wearing rose-tinted glasses and you struggle to see the whole picture, which a lot of time is painting a lot like "he doesn't like you". But you can't see it, because you are addicted to him and you are not about to give up the drug for no-one.

4. The Realisation Phase - Clearing the fog:

You were addicted for some time, but you are finally starting to come clean. The rose tinted glasses have come off and the mist is beginning to clear. You are finally starting to realise that he actually might not be that into you. That glance and smile he made to you all those weeks ago, were just his normal actions - he's a friendly guy. His supposed hot and cold attitude were not a "I like you, but I'm scared to tell you, incase you reject me", it was more of a "sometimes I have good days, sometimes I have bad days and sometimes I have days when I don't want to talk to anyone" type of attitude. It has nothing to do with his supposed feelings. But everything to do with the fact that he was just not that into you to begin with (To quote the popular movie) and you're only just beginning to realise it now. It is a sad moment in time and this is the stage, I have just recently gone through with my own object of affection and the realisation has definitely knocked me for SIX this time!


5. The Rebirth Phase - Learn. Leave. Regrow:

Perhaps the best phase of them all. It is the stage of rebirth in which you move on, you learn, you leave and you regrow. You probably could've been the Angelina to his Brad and the best thing that could've ever happened to him. But it just wasn't meant to be, and that's ok, because, c'est la vie...that's life folks. You accept that he will just never be that into you and you move on, you get over it. The rebirth stage can take days, weeks, months or even years to get to, but once you get there,  you're there. It will feel so-damn-good and you will become a better person because of it. As the famous saying goes, you can't change what has happened to you, but you can sure as heck always change what you do with it! Now I really don't think that was a saying, but heck, it sounds good, doesn't it?


And with that folks...crush freely, crush well and crush HARD!

Scribbling Away Xx 


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1 comment:

  1. Love it. I definitely relate too and I think lots of people will. I have a post too, please check it out when ever you can 💕
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