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A Note to the World - A collection of some of my thoughts from my journal during my time of sadness...
- What is an introvert? At times I just feel like cutting myself off from the world, from humanity and all existence. Does that make me an introvert? Does that make me a recluse? I'm not sure.
- Sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone and I cut myself off from everyone. It can happen up to one or two times a month and the periods can last anywhere between 1-2 weeks.
- I miss the old Heather, where is she? When is she coming back? How do I get her back?
- Sometimes I get scared, I get scared that I'm irrelevant, that my voice doesn't matter, that my say is unimportant. That I don't matter.
- I want to run and hide. I want to scream and shout.
- Why does nobody want to love me?
- I fear my existence so much sometimes, I fear the world, I fear life.
- I know this 4th KFC meal for the day is probably going to end up killing me one day, but I'm a comfort eater and comfort eating is the best feeling in the world right now.
- There is a light, there is a light - somewhere at the end of this never-ending dark tunnel - there is a light.
- Why can't I climb out of this deep, dark pit? It's suffocating me!
- Who can I trust? Who do I trust? Can they trust me?
- Who loves me? Who wants me?
- I hate people. I hate life.
- I'm stupid.
- I'm heartless and cold, I want a heart filled with gold.
- It's dark and scary and a bottomless pit of pain. The pain doesn't end. It doesn't ever stop.
- I am strong. My life is worth living. I can get through this. I have to get through this.
So for the very last post of my mental health blogging week, I have written you all an open letter. It is taken from excerpts of my journal entries I wrote when I was in a very dark and sad place. It's an open letter to my past, defeated self, a note to others with mental health problems and a note to the world - giving an insight into the REAL thoughts that go through a person with mental health's mind. To show the discriminators that it is NOT attention seeking, it is NOT always violent and it is NOT pitiful. It is REAL, it is strong and it can be detrimental, if people are not given the help and support that they need. It's time to open up, It's time to speak up and it's time to beat mental health stigma and discrimination, let's give the voice back to the people with mental health, let's help them to be hopeful again. #ShareSpeakStop
Now here's my challenge to you. Whether you're going through mental health, know someone with mental health or are just ready to spread some awareness. I want you to write your very own 'Note to the World'. It could be a blog post, song, poem, story - whatever you wish. Just include a few notes about your own personal mental health story. Include REAL thoughts, REAL feelings and REAL emotions and SHARE and SPEAK so that together we can show people that mental health is a very REAL health problem and the STOP the discrimination!
But before I go, I want to leave you with these following statements...
For more information on Mental Health visit: http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/
But before I go, I want to leave you with these following statements...
'Mental Health symptoms are really only more prominent and persistent symptoms of characteristics we all possess'
'1 in 4 people will experience some kind of Mental Health problem in the course of the year'
#ShareSpeakStop
Thank you guys for reading!
Scribbling Away Xx
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I don't think I can ever show people my journals publicly, especially those I had when I was in an extremely dark place. This is so beautiful, Heather. I personally struggled with depression, and I wished I had some to talk to about it. But I didn't, and it nearly killed me. I wish I could do the Note to The World about it, but honestly it's still too personal and I'm still too scared to do it.
ReplyDeleteBut everyone who does, is so brave and so admirable <3
xx Bash | Hey Bash | bloglovin'
Thank you sweets! It was so so hard for me to actually publish this, I considered not doing it so many times, but it is such an important topic for me that I just had to share to let others know that they're not alone! That's ok I understand, but even commenting on here and explaining your issues and the struggles you have faced is good enough, you're doing well, keep going! :)
DeleteHeather Xx
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ReplyDeleteI always find it inspiring when someone shares publicly some of their darkest, most painful thoughts and feelings. I personally haven't experienced a mental health problem, but I know a few people who do. I'm also aware how easily it could be me at any moment, so by you sharing so openly it not only lets others know they're not alone, but also that they matter and also helps people like me stay aware of any signs. Thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was hard for me to do, but something I feel very passionate about and I think the more we talk about it, the more awareness we create! And yes any one of us could develop a mental health problem, that's the thing that so many other people forget! Thank you guys for your comment, I'm glad it was helpful! :)
DeleteHeather Xx