My Life as a Perfectionist

Monday, 8 June 2015


Hello guys, so my name is Heather and I am a suffering perfectionist. Perfection is at the heart of every single thing I do, and if something is not up to scratch on the perfection scale, then I will feel like I have failed. Failed at that task, failed at life and failed as a human being. Now I know some people who would say that being a perfectionist is probably a good thing right? WRONG! Well actually that was kind of harsh (Sorry, lol!), you're half right and half wrong, it's 50/50. You see, a perfectionist will put their heart and soul into everything, and that can be a good thing, because it means we work hard and produce some high quality pieces of work. However a perfectionist will slave away day and night on something and if they feel like it's not good enough, they will beat themselves up about it until the end of time - this is what I do! For me, whenever I'm doing an essay, exam, blog post, whatever, it all has to be perfect! But sometimes and a lot of the time if not all, it's never enough. Nothing a perfectionist does is ever enough and this is the part that is the curse. Even if I handed in the best piece of work ever in my entire life and the Sir Stephen Hawking himself gave it the genius seal of approval, it's just NEVER enough! And that sucks, because it eats away at you. As a perfectionist, there's always that need and want for something more, that lurking voice saying 'what if I had done this?' or 'I could have done this so much better'.


On the one hand it can be such a strong and promising characteristic but other times it can make a person indecisive, critical and sometimes really depressed. I know in my case, my perfectionist nature has had a impact on me in the worst way, I've always hated the way I've done things and quite frankly have always just felt like everything I do is just never GOOD enough! And it's a chain reaction, because once you start to think one negative thought, it continues and goes on and on until you are left doubting absolutely everything in your life and thinking your very existence is a FAILURE! It's true, I'm not even exaggerating, this "perfectionism" has had some horrible impacts on my life, not only on my studies but on my self - esteem aswell. I've just never felt good enough, not quite up to scratch. My hair has never been quite long or straight enough, my height a little bit too short, my existence a little less than perfect compared to the "perfect" gorgeous, looking celebrities out there. I mean what even is the definition of perfection? Really? Can anybody and anything actually ever be PERFECT? I really don't know, I don't think perfect exists!

Anyhow recently I've been trying to let go and deal with the fact that things can't always be perfect (if perfect exists) and it hasn't been easy, but I'm getting there, slowly but surely just like everything in life! I remember in the beginning when I first started 100 Ways to 30, I wanted the whole SHABANG. I wanted the perfect design, the perfect layout and the perfect photos, all magically there from the word 'go'. But I soon realised it just doesn't work like that, especially with blogging, it all takes time! And just because I don't shoot with a Canon 600D, doesn't mean that my blog is any less worthy than those that do, and just because I don't have a fancy template like so many other bloggers, does NOT mean that my blog is a failure. I work hard on my blog and I am so very proud of it. In the beginning I wanted more and I wanted it to be so MUCH more, but I have now realised that it takes time to get these things up to scratch. I won't learn how to take spectacular photos with my DSLR overnight, it will take time. And just because it's not my ideal view of "perfect" doesn't mean that it's not a great achievement!

I hope you guys enjoyed this post, and learnt a bit more about what it's like to be a perfectionist. And that, although sometimes good, can also be horrible to live with! At some point, once I feel like I have made some thorough progress in reducing the negativities of my perfectionism, I will probably create a post on some helpful tips to deal with living life as a perfectionist, but for now, I'm just going to work on the belief that I am not a failure if something I do is not my perception of "perfect".

I want to know, are any of you perfectionists? How do you deal with it? And does it affect your blogging? So feel free to leave a comment, I would love to hear your views on perfectionism! Thanks for reading guys!

Scribbling Away Xx

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6 comments:

  1. This post is so relatable! I'm a perfectionist too. I'm that family member that all the kids get compared to.I don't like it because I feel like I don't deserve to be labelled as the "perfect child".... and the way that I deal with it is by not including the word "perfect" in my vocabulary. I force myself to believe that perfection doesn't exist. And I get where you're coming from, especially with blogging. I still think that my photos are not crisp enough or my stuff is not engaging enough, but you gotta realize that you started this blog for you, so just do you to the best of your ability. Don't overwork yourself. xx

    from18tolife.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Aww thank you girl for such a lovely comment! That's a good way to deal with it, I'm going to attempt to try this aswell, it might help! Thank you for your awesome words of encouragement! And don't forget your blog is awesome too! :)

      Heather Xx

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  2. I love working hard and take a lot of pride in anything I do, but I don't think I would consider myself a perfectionist!
    Great post! :)

    Renee | Lose The Road

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    1. Aww thank you Renee, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yes I think there is a very thin line between working hard and being a perfectionist! :)

      Heather Xx

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  3. Oh Heather, this is such an incredibly well written post that I can 100% relate to. I am such a perfectionist too and my own worst critic. Lately the pressure I've put on myself has really gotten too much and made me realise that I need to take a step back. Just remember that your blog is awesome, you're doing an amazing job by working so hard in the first place... don't put so much pressure on yourself :)

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

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    1. Aww thank you so much Elle, I'm learning to ease the pressure on myself! You should be proud of your blog aswell, it's awesome! You have achieved so much, and I LOVE reading your blog, you write so well. Try not to stress out too much girly! :) Thank you for commenting!

      Heather Xx

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