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Feeling alone, is an emotion I have felt for a very long time, perhaps since my childhood and now in present day, it ceases to leave ...

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Your love. My love. Big Love.

Thursday, 15 September 2016

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'I've felt love. I'm sure I've felt it. Actually, I know I've felt it.'

Sometimes I reflect on previous crushes/flirtationships (because I've never actually been in a real relationship), I have had over the last few years and I wonder, if I ever really did love them, or if I just lusted after them, or maybe I just loved the idea of them. But then that got me to thinking, how do we know when we love someone?  What does love feel like? How does love for a significant other, differ from other, more generic forms of love. Does it feel the same as the love you feel for your mum and dad? Or the love you feel for your pet? My thought is - it doesn't.

I have fallen for guys many a time. Some I fell for stronger than others. I recently developed very strong feelings for a very special guy. He was like a breath of fresh air, to all of the other horrible men, I had got to know over the last 4-5 years. He was morally right, and just an all round good egg. As my feelings for him grew stronger and my thoughts for him grew deeper, I started to wonder whether I could actually be in love with him. And whether we could develop feelings of love for a person, we were not in a relationship with.

Love is a subjective feeling. Everyone will feel it differently and no one person will ever describe it the same as the other. To me; love is joy, it is pain, it is sunshine and it is rain. It is a journey and one that we all will embark on, some, more times than others, some, only once. But there is one thing that is forever constant about this thing called love. It is always reflective and life-changing. Sometimes love can give us the positive outlook we so desperately longed for, amidst the horrible grey skies. And sometimes it can be the heartbreak that leads us to becoming closed and distrustful. However, as I said before, it is subjective and the way you feel love, will always depend on you, the kind of person you are and the kind of person you have fallen in love with.

After careful consideration, I soon came to the conclusion, that I didn't in actual fact, love, love - can't live-without-him kind of love, the guy I so desperately wanted to be with. But I loved the way he made me feel about myself and the way he made me look at life. He changed my perception of the world we live in and he helped me to open my mind, to the possibilities of the world. That was the love. The real love. But sadly, I didn't love him. Sadly, he wasn't supposed to be a part of my journey.

You see, as I mentioned earlier, there are different types of love, and while each might not always prove lasting or perfect, they are sometimes beneficial to you and can provoke a feeling that is very much invaluable.

So the next time, you're wondering what you gained from your high school love or the love you developed for that handsome bartender you just couldn't stop going back to his bar to go and see - Remember that it was love and all love matters. But what is most important is that it was your love and that is all that matters.

Your love. My love. Big Love.

As always, thank you guys so much for reading. Until next time, I'm...
Scribbling Away Xx 

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The 5 Stages of Crushing...HARD

Monday, 5 September 2016

Crushes. We all have them. Some more than others. Some crushes can turn into big, fat bundles of love. Some can end in tears. Some fail to start at all. For me, it's usually a 'Some fail to start at all' type of crush. The thing is, when I crush, I crush hard and it can be really hard to deal with it, especially when the feelings are just not reciprocated. I'm currently attempting to get over a 7 month long crush, which I have come to finally realise, was NOT reciprocated. In doing so, I got to thinking about the many stages of crushing that happen, mostly when the person doesn't like you back, and thus came up with these 5 stages. Enjoy!

1. The Cheshire Cat Phase - Everything that makes you smile:

Let's face it, we all grin and smile as widely and as stupidly as the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland when we first start to develop feelings for a crush. He looks your way. You smile. He calls your name. You giggle girlishly. He mutters some cute, boyish joke, that is not even remotely funny in any shape or form - but you laugh out loud anyway, because the sound of his voice alone, is enough to send your happy brain into overdrive. You laugh, you grin and you smile at every encounter you have, because you've got all of these new happy feelings inside and you just can't help but channel your best bud - the cheshire cat!

2. The Drugged Phase - Experiencing the highs:

So after all of that smiling, comes the highs. The highs of seeing him in that new, sexy blue shirt. The highs of smelling his sweet, pine scent first thing in the morning. The highs of the hope that this could actually be the start of something completely new and absolutely wonderful. You feel joyful, you feel hopeful and you feel wonderful. You are now drugged and high as a kite. It has never felt better, you just keep hoping against all hopes that there isn't a comedown.

3. The Addiction Phase- Getting that daily fix of the guy:

So this is where the drugged phase, can start to get a little bit messy and a little bit unhealthy. The addiction phase, starts when you begin to spend all of your time, thinking, talking  and borderline obsessing over him. You begin to create visions and fantasies of the life the two of you will lead when you get married in the big church, have the two kids and buy the perfect cottage by the beach. In this stage, you start to narrow every single, minute action he makes, down to, "He likes me" even if the actions are the most non-suggestive on the planet. You are wearing rose-tinted glasses and you struggle to see the whole picture, which a lot of time is painting a lot like "he doesn't like you". But you can't see it, because you are addicted to him and you are not about to give up the drug for no-one.

4. The Realisation Phase - Clearing the fog:

You were addicted for some time, but you are finally starting to come clean. The rose tinted glasses have come off and the mist is beginning to clear. You are finally starting to realise that he actually might not be that into you. That glance and smile he made to you all those weeks ago, were just his normal actions - he's a friendly guy. His supposed hot and cold attitude were not a "I like you, but I'm scared to tell you, incase you reject me", it was more of a "sometimes I have good days, sometimes I have bad days and sometimes I have days when I don't want to talk to anyone" type of attitude. It has nothing to do with his supposed feelings. But everything to do with the fact that he was just not that into you to begin with (To quote the popular movie) and you're only just beginning to realise it now. It is a sad moment in time and this is the stage, I have just recently gone through with my own object of affection and the realisation has definitely knocked me for SIX this time!

5. The Rebirth Phase - Learn. Leave. Regrow:

Perhaps the best phase of them all. It is the stage of rebirth in which you move on, you learn, you leave and you regrow. You probably could've been the Angelina to his Brad and the best thing that could've ever happened to him. But it just wasn't meant to be, and that's ok, because, c'est la vie...that's life folks. You accept that he will just never be that into you and you move on, you get over it. The rebirth stage can take days, weeks, months or even years to get to, but once you get there,  you're there. It will feel so-damn-good and you will become a better person because of it. As the famous saying goes, you can't change what has happened to you, but you can sure as heck always change what you do with it! Now I really don't think that was a saying, but heck, it sounds good, doesn't it?

And with that folks...crush freely, crush well and crush HARD!

Scribbling Away Xx 

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Saturday, 3 September 2016

Feeling alone, is an emotion I have felt for a very long time, perhaps since my childhood and now in present day, it ceases to leave my heart.

I've always found it such a funny thing, how we can be surrounded by dozens of people, yet still feel so alone. How we can experience the most positive of things and still feel so negative and unhappy inside. How we can be shown all of the love and still feel so empty. Empty enough to feel alone. This is exactly how I feel most days of the week. 

You see, it's a funny old thing this loneliness business. I grew up with a mum, a dad and two brothers, countless friends, and plenty of work colleagues/friends so I was always surrounded by people, I was never really alone. So whenever I tell people that sometimes I feel lonely, they look baffled. 

But there's nothing to be baffled about. Loneliness is an emotion, a feeling, not an action, therefore it can't be substituted by doing, it is substituted by feeling. And although I have always been surrounded by lots of lovely people to "do" things with, inside I wasn't always feeling there in the moment, which led me to then recluse and isolate my feelings to only my mind, which in turn led to my loneliness.

As a result of this loneliness, it has led me to search high and low for a solution to my problem. I always thought that the solution would be finding that special someone and creating a brand new life together. Many a time, I actually thought I had found this special "soulmate", however, my now innate "loneliness" stopped me from taking a leap and letting myself truly love. I pushed them away, because the thought of someone being by my side for eternity, terrified me. The thought of no longer being lonely, made my heart bleed.

You see, I had experienced this feeling of being alone for so long, that when something good finally came around, I didn't know how to handle it. I sabotaged it, because my mind was telling me that I didn't deserve it. My mind told me that it needed to be alone and that loneliness was the only place I knew. 

I guess the real problem is that I hide inside my own mind, and while this can be helpfully introspective at times, it can also be incredibly isolating and debilitating. I am working on being more open; open to change, open to to love. And I only hope, that within time, my loneliness will subside, I will be able to let people in and I will no longer feel alone.

Do you ever feel lonely? And if you do, what do you do to combat the loneliness? Do you feel as if you will always be alone? I would love to hear your thoughts on loneliness, so please do leave your comments below. 


Monday, 22 August 2016

Debenhams Freya 'fancies' green bra and brief set_giveaway, competition, fashion blog, uk blog, lingerie, debenhams lingerie

Hello All! It has been such a long while, since I have spoken to you and bored you all to death with my random waffling about Alex Turner lyrics and Harry Potter spells. But I am back again, and I have been so excited to share my new lingerie set with you.

As I mentioned previously in this post here, I am working with Debenhams on their new bra fit campaign, which is all about getting the nations boobies into the right fitting bras - because honestly there are a lot of us who are in the wrong size bras and we don't even know it (8 out of 10 women - to be exact!). Debenhams actually recommend women to try to get a bra fitting done every 6 months to ensure that we are always wearing the correct size bra to support our breasts. If you haven't had one recently, you can head on down to Debenhams, where they carry out professional bra fittings for their customers...and no, it doesn't require you having to go topless in front of a complete stranger! That is just another one of the many myths about having a bra fit...and one that I believed for far too long.

Just ICYMI: The previous review featured this gorgeous Fantasie Lace Bra with this Missguided Summer Co-ord, see the full post herePlease note: The giveaway for the Fantasie Bra has now ended and entries are no longer being accepted.

Debenhams Fantasie Bra Outfit_Review_Giveaway, Missguided navy co-ord, missguided navy blazer, missguided navy shorts, Boohoo Fedora, Asos Sunglasses, Debenhams Lingeriea

Debenhams Fantasie Bra Outfit_Review_Giveaway, Missguided navy co-ord, missguided navy blazer, missguided navy shorts, Boohoo Fedora, Asos Sunglasses, Debenhams Lingeriea

Now, moving on to the latest Debenhams lingerie set. Keeping within the theme of sassy and bad-assy styling, the *Freya 'fancies' green bra and brief set is just as chic and beautiful as the Fantasie bra, if not more. Keep on reading to hear my thoughts on it:

Debenhams Freya 'fancies' green bra and brief set_giveaway, competition, fashion blog, uk blog, lingerie, debenhams lingerie

I love the colour of this set, it is everything that I want for the summer. I am naturally a monochrome dresser; black, navy and grey are usually the colours that float my boat, but I have been attempting to become a little bit more adventurous this summer with going a little brighter with my colours. The colour of this set is bright and zesty, and when I put it on, I almost feel as bright and zesty as it looks - total winner.

Unlike the fantasie and 24hr strapless bra, this bra, is unpadded and unlined and is completely covered in lace - tres sexy. While a completely unlined bra is not something I would always go for, the Freya bra's, girlish and seductive air, is one I have grown to love and I have quickly found it becoming my bra of choice when opting for some underwear to make me feel pretty on a wild night out on the town. It has a 'plunge fit, low back fastening and peep hole centre front' which adds a complimentary hint of sass to the already bright green colour. The brief just like the bra, is covered completely in lace, which sits so softly against my skin each time I wear it and it fits perfectly.

I absolutely adore everything about this set. The bright colours, the sultry plunge fit and the comfort of the soft and pretty lace. It is everything that women love in lingerie and more and a set I would definitely recommend to all of you ladies out there, wishing to brighten up what is left of these dull summer days. 
In this Post:
Debenhams Freya 'fancies' green bra and brief set_giveaway, competition, fashion blog, uk blog, lingerie, debenhams lingerie

And now, your chance to WIN your very own Freya lingerie set! This bra and brief set will be the perfect injection of brightness to this lacklustre summer we have all been suffering with and will have you feeling sexy and sassy in an instant. All you have to do is enter the rafflecopter below and cross your fingers extra tight for luck! This giveaway will run for two weeks and will end on Monday 5th September 2016. Please read the Terms and Conditions below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

1) A winner will be selected at random on Monday 05/09/2016 and contacted by myself via twitter or email.

2) The winner must respond and accept the prize within 48 hours, if they fail to do, another winner will then be selected at random.

3) The bra is available in the sizes 28E-G and 30dd-38G so you would need to have a bra size in one of these in order for the bra to fit. 
The briefs are available in sizes S, M, L & XL.

4) Prize is for the Debenhams Freya 'Fancies' Green bra and briefs only:
• Prize is subject to availability
• All prizes are non-transferable, non refundable and non negotiable. No cash alternative is available for any prize.
• Debenhams Retail Plc will not be liable for any prizes which are lost, delayed or damaged in the post for reasons beyond their control.


Do you like this lingerie set? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and good luck in the giveaway!

*These items has been sent to me by Debenhams for review, however all words and views are completely my own. 

Scribbling Away Xx

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8 Reasons Why I'm Still Single

Thursday, 21 July 2016

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog

So guys I have been single for practically ALL of my life! Why you ask? Well up until recently I struggled to understand why. But I have been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of reflecting recently and have come to these 8 conclusions as to why I'm still single. Hint: A lot of it, is actually down to me! Shock horror - I know! Enjoy...
1) Independent woman - 
"All the women, who are independent, throw your hands up at me!" Haha!  Funny story - I used think they were singing, "Throw your hands at BATMAN!" So much LOL's! Anyways, independent ladies, have you ever had a guy feel threatened by your success? Or just all round put off by your ability to function completely on your own, without his assistance? Because I have, and it's annoying as f*ck! I'm sorry guys, I know you want to take care and provide for us and everything, but some of us girls don't need and don't want it. We just want your loving and your good abs. Sorry if you feel threatened by the fact that I earn a better salary than you, but I'm not about to give this up for shit, so you either deal with it or get packing! #Throwyourhandsatbatman

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, khloe kardashian

2) Easily annoyed - 
It's a well-known fact about me. My family know it, my friends know it, heck even my cat knows it! They all will do something on a daily basis to annoy me, because they know I'm an easy target. So many things about potential suitors annoy me, and they just get the boot ASAP. 'Chewing with your mouth open?' Please just go and lie in a ditch somewhere. 'Scraping your cutlery against the crockery" There is a special place in hell for you, and it is not my heart! #foreveralonebasically

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, tina fey gif
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3) I'm a SELFISH foodie! - 
I love my food and I really DON'T like sharing it with anyone. The obligatory "Would you like to try a bit?" question, annoys the life out of me every time I have to ask it (Especially when I'm HANGRY) and I will ask it through gritted teeth! I know, I know, that's selfish af, but I like my food OK! And I like savouring, every-last-bite! I'm not here for a lady and the tramp spaghetti sharing moment.

Gif Source

4) Personal space snob -

I get really angsty about people in my personal space! it's not even a - you smell so move 10 meters over there thing. It's more of a ' I get really anxious and scared when people enter my personal area, I feel like I have no control and something will go wrong, so please don't hate me for it' thing. God knows how I will ever share the same bed with a significant other (If and when he decides to materialise!) when being within a few centimetres of somebody makes me feel so anxious and generally just unwell.

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, clueless gif, personal space gif,
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5) I'm not playing hard to get, I'm playing scared to get! -
 I really would like to play the hard to get game (mainly for a laugh), but I know that I would fail miserably. I do not have a seductive bone in my body and I always get scared when I have to breathe the words "Hello" to a guy, so imagine what I would be like actually trying to play "the game". SINGLE forever, that is what I would be like!

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, playing hard to get gif, confused gif
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6) Given up on love - 
That's right, I have been single for so long, that I have quite literally just fully given up. NO, there aren't plenty more fish in the sea, infact there are NO more fish left in the sea, they have all been taken. Therefore I don't stand a chance, I might aswell change my FB status from single to retired spinster and adopt 70 cats. #foreveraloneforever

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, New girl gif, single old lady gif, alone gif
Gif Source
7) I'm closed af - 
I'm not even going to hide it here, but I am a closed, defensive lady. I don't let people in, I don't open up to people enough and I sure as heck don't trust them enough. This has ruined potential relationships for me, more times than I can count and it's something I'm working on all the time. However as for right now, girls want guys to tell them things and guys want girls to tell them things and I just can't do the talking and opening up about my feelings things just yet, so yeah - chronically single.

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, i have no feelings gif, no feelings gif
Gif Source
8) All of the good guys are already taken -
 I wanted the guy with the good career, adventurous, funny, smart and all round good guy...SNAP - taken. I waited a lifetime for another guy who was a downright a**hole, but I still waited and guess what?...SNAP - taken. Every one I come across has already been taken or are about to be taken. I just want to know when will I get a chance to take em' And by take them, I mean take them home, hehe...for milk and cookies of course! (Gosh you guys!)

So yeah, basically, I'm single and alone for two very simple reasons:

1) Men are the biggest bunch of a**holes I have ever met!
2) I'm probably an even bigger a**hole who needs to learn to compromise and act more human if i ever wish to find someone!

In the meanwhile, I will channel this pretty amazing woman, who looks cool and mysterious af. Totally my aesthetic!...I wish.

8 Reasons Why I'm Still single, single life, list post, funny, 8 reasons, uk lifestyle blog, alone gif, i have no feelings gif, mysterious woman gif
Gif Source
As always thank you guys for reading! Until next time I'm...

Scribbling Away Xx 

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