1) There's nobody there to keep your side of the bed warm for you. So when you wake up multiple times throughout the night for toilet breaks, as a result of the copious glasses of wine you consumed the night before, the bed will remain icy cold...just like your singleton soul...
2) You can't scratch anyone's back and there certainly isn't anyone to scratch yours. The term 'Scratch my back & I'll scratch yours' does not apply to the single fellow.
3) Your Marks & Spencers meal for two, becomes a meal for one, a breakfast AND a lunch for the following day. However, is having more more food for yourself, really that much of a deal breaker? This point may require some debate!
4) That hilarious joke you guffawed at during today's lunch break at work, and want to share with someone and choke laugh at all over again, is unwillingly subjected unto your very unamused cat, who proceeds to stare at your mercilessly as you yell the now-not-so-funny punchline. You start to realise that if your cat doesn't even find you funny, what handsome man will? "Somebody pass me the wine please!"
5) There's nobody to brutally and bluntly tell you to "SHUT IT!" when you're doing your best (worst) Mariah Carey singing impression in the shower. So instead, your cat and your unlucky neighbours have to endure the torture, every-single-morning!
6) The family gossip that ensues once you hit the magical 21, leave your tom boy stage behind, start dressing in short skirts and thus your parents start to wonder where they went wrong when you don't begin to bring home every Tom, Dick or Bloody Harry and introduce him as your boyfriend. There is nothing more annoying than that pitying/worrying look your parents give you when you repeat for the 100th time in a row, that you have no plus one for the upcoming summer family wedding - Jheeze!
7) It is said that at Christmas time 'It is in giving that we will receive' well when you're single, you can give and give and give and still not receive one single present. Mainly because; A) you're too old for your family to buy you one, B) too new for your work mates to get you one and C) far too single for a significant other to be thoughtful a.k.a obligated out of love, to buy you a pressie! I mean it's not all about the gifts, but you get my drift right?
So you see, being single isn't all it's cracked up to be you know. You constantly find yourself in a never-ending spiral of over-eating, cold and shivery nights and countless looks of devastation from your father when he says he'll most likely "die before he ever gets to walk you down the aisle", all of things that suck basically!
As always thank you guys so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading this post.
Scribbling Away Xx